X-3-1900902

My parrenflus, who's name we've decided to be "Larie", since the collar couldn't properly translate the growls, is sadly quick to overstep his boundaries. Where to start with the list of complaints.

Yesterday I expected him to stay on his side of the bed, like he did during his poisoned state, but I reckon the acid was what made him too sleepy to act on my presence. Roughly an hour after I went to bed, I felt something large moving closer. It's dark inside my room, but when I opened my eyes, I knew something was towering over me and staring back intensely. I think parrenflus are able to see in the dark, since Larie managed to crawl over without any of his large limbs touching me. I nervously asked what he wanted, whereafter he lied himself down next to me, without a word said.

I never shared a bed with a man before. Having to share my room is already a sacrifice for a prude like me. The ship isn't planning on giving him his own space, as he needs to be with me at all times. I'm fine lying across from him, the "bed" is large enough for us to create an acceptable distance between us, but the move he pulled last night kept me awake till morning. I know so little about his level of intelligence; I cannot say if he did this with a purpose in mind or if he's like a cat or young child yearning for company in the darkness of the night.

But parrenflus aren't social beings, that doesn't make sense..

Things became even worse in the star room. I decided to take him there, hopefully inspire him to have some deep thoughts about our existence, but somewhere along the line he must've misread my intentions. I was exhausted, I might've chosen the wrong words? I don't even remember why and when he picked me up in his arms, but he did, and took the opportunity to caress me where no one should ever touch a lady without consent. I didn't mean to, but I slapped him hard.

I never hit someone before and felt guilty the moment it happened, despite the carefree smile he gave me afterwards. Just because he doesn't understand, that doesn't give me the right to inflict abuse onto him. Why didn't I just speak up?

I feel like I misdirect myself when I hear him speak. It's much like how a regular human teenager or young adult would talk, and I think this is making me forget he isn't human. The collar deceives me. I'm convinced he didn't realize his mistake, and striking him won't help him or me. He's my only company on this blasted ship and as his teacher I should show patience. I don't want him to follow my example and show off disapproval by smacking people in the face. In his case, that'll mean someone's death. I apologized to him, but he doesn't know the meaning of "sorry".. I sure have a lot of work to do, but my saving grace is that he's curious, so hopefully he'll take in the things I say.

Still, his smiles confuse me. I tried browsing the book to see if it mentioned a scenario where a parrenflus would stay docile or experience some form of contentedness, but there was nothing of the sort. I wish I had the energy to keep on reading, but Larie has mentally exhausted me. If he isn't invading my personal space, he's threatening other residents with death. I had to explain to him that we were better off getting used to the dirty stares and whispers. We'll get in trouble if we get upset. Of course he loudly disagreed with that and flung more curse words at the gossipers.

I hope to get some sleep tonight.

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